Counseling Blog - Justin Lioi, LCSW

How to Help By Not Helping

So often in my office I’ve heard the story of a guy who’s really upset that their help is being rejected or responded to with derision. They are angry, confused, and judgmental–often at the same time. They can clearly see what their partner, their...

Self-Empathy is NOT ‘Poor Me’: It’s Strength and It’s F**king Difficult

Counseling for Men

I’ve gotten pretty used to the grimace on my clients’ faces when I begin to talk about self-compassion or self-empathy. Understandably, they don’t want to place blame outside of themselves for something they did that they feel guilt or shame about...

Making Friends as An Adult Man: “Can Johnny (Sr.) Come Out and Play?”

Counseling for Anxious Men

I had the opportunity to be interviewed by Matthew Rodriguez for an article in SELF that’s titled The Grown-Ass Man’s Guide to Making and Keeping Friends. One major takeaway from reading this, as well as a panel I had been on titled Male Mental Health...

Compassion is the Answer

Counseling for Men

I recently listened to one of the most freeing podcasts I’ve ever heard. It’s called ‘Man Enough’ and it’s hosted by Justin Baldoni, Liz Plank, & Jamey Heath. This particular episode featured an interview with Alok Vaid-Menon. A...

How a Shame Identity is Harmful

Counseling for Anxious Men

Our self-esteem can be strongly connected to how well we can separate what we do from who we are. Getting to be comfortable with distinguishing between feeling guilty and feeling shame is key to this. We need to learn to hold ourselves accountable for harmful things...

How to Help By Not Helping

Self-Empathy is NOT ‘Poor Me’: It’s Strength and It’s F**king Difficult

Compassion is the Answer

How a Shame Identity is Harmful

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