"Touched Out" After Having a Baby | Justin Lioi, LCSW - Brooklyn, NY

I was interviewed by the website Fatherly regarding how dads are managing with partners who tell them they are “touched out” and are not ready for physical intimacy.

It’s a challenging dynamic for both parents. For dads who are getting this “touched out” message from female partners, it’s best to be honest about how this is affecting you.

As so many things between couples come down to communication, this is where discussion needs to start. What are you interpreting when she tells you she’s feeling “touched out”?

  • She’s no longer physically attracted to me?
  • She’s avoiding me?
  • Our sex life will never be the same?
  • I’ve done something wrong?

Staying in your head with these interpretations is one of the worst things you can do. Read more of Virginia Pelley’s article Your Wife Gives Affection to the Kids, But no Affection to You. What Gives? and let me know what you think!


Struggling with new dad issues? Get in touch for a 15/20 minute free consultation.


Justin Lioi, LCSW is a men’s mental health and relationship expert based in Brooklyn, NY (and online throughout New York State and internationally.) He received his degree from New York University and has been providing counseling for men and their families for over 10 years. Justin writes a weekly column for the Good Men Project called Unmasking Masculinity and can be found on local and national podcasts talking about assertiveness, anger, self-compassion.