Of course, you knew that, but it’s important for us not to beat ourselves up for feeling overwhelmed when we’re struggling to manage with what is an undoubtably uncertain time.
Some questions you may be asking yourself:
Will my family get sick? How do I protect my parents, my partner, my kids? Will I get sick and what happens to my family if I do? Will there be treatment? Hospital beds? Ventilators?
Once we start with all the “What ifs” and “Will there be’s” we are already down a deep rabbit hole and the coping skills we thought we had, the challenges we thought we had conquered, start showing up again.
Plus, even if you are sheltering in place at home, being with family 24/7 can bring up a lot of STRESS.
It’s to be expected.
You’ve probably heard of POST-traumatic stress disorder, well, right now we’re in ACUTE traumatic stress times. And there IS a way to get through that.
Supporting you in managing your anxiety through Online Counseling is a way I can help.
Please contact me with any questions or concerns you have and we can have a phone/online consultation so you can see if online counseling would be a good fit for you during these challenging times.
You’re ending another day feeling you just scraped by without anyone realizing that you are an imposter. You fooled them again, but you’re worried that tomorrow is the day that you’re found out.
And that’s just at work.
At home you’re never the dad or husband you want to be. If things go well, you assume it’s luck, not your ability–you’ve never learned how to parent and it seems like you should know. Have you considered going to counseling for anxious men?
Fear Gets in the Way
If you’re honest with yourself, which feels dangerous to be, you’re scared.
- Scared that she’ll leave you.
- Scared that you aren’t a good dad.
- Scared that you’ll be let go or never move up in your career.
- Scared. And embarrassed. And ashamed–because you feel you shouldn’t be feeling any of this
This is way more common than you think. Sadly, though, men don’t much talk about these vulnerabilities all that often. Even with the media going on a lot about “toxic masculinity’ you still don’t know where you fit in or how to be you–you’re not always sure who that even is anymore!
And if this were said out loud, who knows what the consequences would be for you. So you keep pushing. You keep trying to figure it all out like it was a very frustrating, life-or-death puzzle to solve.
The Way Out: Counseling for Anxious Men
I’ve got news for you, though. Over-thinking and treating work stress, parenting stress, and even stress in the bedroom like a “problem to solve” keeps you in your head. It keeps you alone, and keeps up a pattern that, well, just hasn’t worked for you.
I’m a man who’s spent over ten years working with men who are stressed out, overtired, and embarrassed that they are not living up to who they want to be. Who, deep down, they are afraid they can’t be.
I will challenge that idea with you.
I’ve found that the right combination of self-compassion, humor, and peeling away the layers of bad habits to make room for new ones usually leads to better outcomes for my clients. The men I’ve worked with find strengths they didn’t know they had, more fulfilling relationships, more confidence at work, and, ultimately, acceptance of who they are without falling into complacency.
Are you ready to stop simply keeping your head just above the water? Are you ready to feel confident and vital? Call or shoot me an email for a free phone or Skype consultation so we can get a sense of what you want to change and how we can start working on that right now!
Justin Lioi, LCSW is a men’s mental health and relationship expert based in Brooklyn, NY (and online throughout New York State and internationally.) He received his degree from New York University and has been providing counseling for anxious men and their families for over 10 years. Justin is on the Board of the National Association of Social Workers and writes a weekly column for the Good Men Project called Unmasking Masculinity. He can be found on local and national podcasts talking about assertiveness, anger, self-compassion, all with the goal of becoming the man you want to be.