Consent As a Way to Connect - Justin Lioi, LCSW - Brooklyn, NY

There’s a lot of good talk about consent these days–and there should be.

A lot of it, of course, focuses on safety and respect, particularly for women. And that’s really important.

But the conversation is often framed as consent being something men don’t get anything from–except the knowledge that you didn’t harm a woman or sexually assault or rape her. Consent is still talked about as something straight men are doing for her.

But consent as an important part of the dynamic between you and the person you want to have sex with is also a way of deepening connection with them as well as with yourself, believe it or not. I talk more about that in my weekly post in “Unmasking Masculinity” on The Good Men Project and it’s titled “How Understanding Consent Has Made Me More Human”.

Would love to know what you think! Please give me a call or email if you’d like to set up a time to talk further. These issues are difficult and bring up a lot of challenging feelings. Online counseling can be a way to work on these concerns and the difficult emotions surrounding them as many clients tell me they feel freer and more open with the ability to be in their own space for therapy.


Justin Lioi, LCSW is a men’s mental health and relationship expert. He practices counseling in Brooklyn, NY (and online throughout New York State and internationally.) He received his degree from New York University and has been working with men and their families for over 10 years. Justin is on the Board of the National Association of Social Workers and writes a weekly column for the Good Men Project called Unmasking Masculinity. He can be found on local and national podcasts talking about assertiveness, anger, self-compassion, all with the goal of becoming the man you want to be.