We’ve been sold a bill of goods. We want relationships. We want to connect. We want to support our partners. But we’ve been taught that we can do this all without being vulnerable. It’s hard to find a place where this is more front and center than how several men respond when a couple is struggling to have a baby. You’re not going to manage male infertility well without it.
We often think we can muster all the strength, the stoic-ness, the courage, and can-fix-anything sense of ourselves to get through the time of infertility, but we’re just digging a deeper hole for ourselves, our partner, and our relationships.
Because it’s the opposite that’s true.
Finding a way to be open, honest, and–yes, I’m sorry–vulnerable with your partner is the surest way to manage male infertility. It won’t shield you from the feelings and the ups and downs of treatments and attempts, but it can bring you closer with the understanding that neither of you are alone in this.
Read more in my article for Fertility Smarts called, “Hey Men–It’s Vulnerability, NOT Strength, That Will See You Through Infertility” And let me know what you think in the comments!
If you’re looking for support going through the difficult period of infertility–or if there’s something else that you’re struggling with–shoot me an email or give me a call for a free consultation.
Justin Lioi, LCSW is a men’s mental health and relationship expert. He is a Brooklyn therapist (as well as also seeing clients online throughout New York State and internationally.) He received his degree from New York University and has been working with men and their families for over 10 years. Justin is on the Board of the National Association of Social Workers and writes a weekly column for the Good Men Project called Unmasking Masculinity. He can be found on local and national podcasts talking about assertiveness, anger, self-compassion, all with the goal of becoming the man you want to be.