This is just a quick post about behavior change. It comes up a bunch because people want to shift something about their behavior and they just can’t seem to do it so they get very judgmental.
“I’m lazy.”
I hear this a bunch because people get it in their head that they should be able to do whatever it is they set their minds out to do. But they don’t.
And the keyword in that last paragraph is “minds.” We believe we can think ourselves out of every situation. Sure, knowing more can be helpful, changing situations can be helpful. We all know that if we put two Oreos on a plate we will eat less Oreos than if we take the whole box to the couch and watch Game of Thrones. We’ve read Freakonomics, we’ve watched videos of the latest life hacks. Maybe we’ve even really made a change.
But more often then not we don’t and we buy into the idea that we’re “lazy.”
We’ve probably been hearing it since we were kids, maybe told we were lazy because we didn’t study or didn’t do our chores. Neither of which we wanted to do.
In my experience there’s always a reason–not an excuse, but a reason for behavior. Delving into this may show us some emotional, physical, maybe even a cognitive, reason.
The one thing it won’t be is because we’re “lazy.”
I’m putting “lazy” up there with “boring.” I don’t really believe in these things. There’s always something going on underneath.
Looking at our feelings when we’re telling ourselves that we’re “lazy” will give us a lot more information about what’s stopping us from getting something done.
If you’re done beating up on yourself and would like to read more, please download a Tip sheet, take the quiz, or just send me an email to get on the mailing list. If you’d like to talk about how I work, or set up a FREE twenty-minute consultation call the number above or click here.
Justin Lioi, LCSW is a men’s mental health and relationship expert based in Brooklyn, NY (and online throughout New York State and internationally.) He received his degree from New York University and has been providing counseling for men and their families for over 10 years. Justin is on the Board of the National Association of Social Workers and writes a weekly column for the Good Men Project called Unmasking Masculinity. He can be found on local and national podcasts talking about assertiveness, anger, self-compassion, all with the goal of becoming the man you want to be.