How good are you with going after what you want? How comfortable are you at letting your desires be known?
Some people break out in a sweat just thinking about asking for a raise or promotion. Others struggle with letting their partner know when they want to deepen their relationship.
This may be connected to a number of things. Assertiveness comes to mind right away. As does confidence. Because it takes some vulnerability to let someone know that you want more.
You want more from them.
You want more for you.
Those aren’t easy to voice for many of us.
In my monthly contribution to GoodTherapy.org I write about how the counseling room is the place to “practice” this. Ask yourself some questions about your therapy, including, “Do I want MORE from my therapist?”
You can figure out what that “more” means later, but for right now I’d like to sit with that idea and what gets in your way of asking for more.
- Fear of abandonment?
- Being told you’re ungrateful?
- Being told you’re greedy?
Is this coming from you, or from some messages you got a long time ago that have now become your own walls to getting what you want?
Read more about this in Allowing Yourself to Ask For More and add a comment if you like.
As always, contact me here regarding setting up an appointment to talk about you growing stronger in getting what you need.
Justin Lioi, LCSW is a men’s mental health and relationship expert. He is a Brooklyn therapist (as well as also seeing clients online throughout New York State and internationally.) He received his degree from New York University and has been working with men and their families for over 10 years. Justin is on the Board of the National Association of Social Workers and writes a weekly column for the Good Men Project called Unmasking Masculinity. He can be found on local and national podcasts talking about assertiveness, anger, self-compassion, all with the goal of becoming the man you want to be.