The more we become aware of the masculine roles we are socialized into, the more we allow ourselves access to do something different. Not just for the sake of difference, but we can simply relax into who we are and the roles we want to play.
These may change with time and with situations. These may require us to learn some new skills or push forward in gaining some different knowledge, but it’s not something that comes naturally–not because of any “nature” reason–but because we are inundated with how our assigned gender should act.
Some people feel overwhelmed by this idea, and prefer to be given the role and to follow it.
That’s fine, I suppose, if it makes sense for you, but what might you be missing?
I explore this a bit more in my weekly article for The Good Men Project called Creating New Roles When the Old Ones Don’t Fit. Would love to hear your thoughts! As always, if you’d like to talk further, please get in touch.
Justin Lioi, LCSW is a men’s mental health and relationship expert based in Brooklyn, NY (and online throughout New York State and internationally.) He received his degree from New York University and has been providing counseling for men and their families for over 10 years. Justin is on the Board of the National Association of Social Workers and writes a weekly column for the Good Men Project called Unmasking Masculinity. He can be found on local and national podcasts talking about assertiveness, anger, self-compassion, all with the goal of becoming the man you want to be.