10 Ways Men's Counseling Can Help YOU (Part 4-and the Last one!) - Justin Lioi, LCSW - Brooklyn, NY

Hey there, so not only is this the conclusion of a four-part post on what counseling for men can do for you, it’s also the 100th blog post on my site.

When I started the website, my hope was for it to become a place to make the transition to counseling easier for guys.

As I’ve written about in several places, going to a therapist is not the first idea most men get when they are faced with any life challenge. There’s a whole lot of stuff about how we’re socialized that is rolled into that, but there’s also a ton of bad stigmatizing around counseling, therapy, mental health services—all of it keeps men out of the room and suffering in silence.

A big focus on my blog, as well as a column I write over at GoodTherapy.org is on decreasing the discomfort for taking that first step.

Through the blog posts I hope you get more accustomed to seeing how counseling for men can help you. I want to reduce your resistance to making that call or sending that email, to me or any counselor seems like a hopeful possibility instead of feeling like a failure for “needing” it.

So there are ninety-nine other posts right now that are trying to do just that. You can browse and dig in with what you’re interested in, or search for a particular topic. Not seeing what you need—drop me a line and we can talk about it, or I can put together a post inspired by you!

Let’s review the past nine reasons why counseling for men would be appropriate for you—follow the links if you’d like to learn more about:

  1. Making New Adult Friends
  2. Finding Happiness in Relationships (if you’re in one)
  3. Finding Happiness in Relationships (if you want one)
  4. Social Anxiety
  5. Fatherhood
  6. Assertiveness
  7. Anger
  8. Career Advancement
  9. Irritation/Permanently Pissed Off

The number 10 reason that a guy could benefit from therapy would be to get un-stuck:

10. Stuck-ness

I work with lots of guys who are angry/irritated/unhappy-in-relationship-and-work because they feel Stuck. Stuck in a job. Stuck in a relationship. Stuck under a parent’s shadow. Stuck with a baby they didn’t realize they didn’t really want to have.

Counseling helps to reveal the choices that are actually there, but seem invisible when you’re really in the muck of things.

So what does getting unstuck mean? Sometimes it’s shifting the job or the relationship and sometimes it means figuring out what’s stopping you from connecting to that baby or that partner. It’s not always either/or.

This can be about how to transition (something we don’t always learn as kids). How to break a habit. How to form a new habit.

Change is hard. Adjusting is hard. I believe Charles Darwin’s “survival of the fittest” wasn’t about who was the strongest, but who was the best at adapting.

Often, we don’t want to. We’d prefer the world to adapt to us. And sometimes that’s possible. Sometimes we do get to do that (and that may bring other problems…)

But we often need to find a way to adapt without losing ourselves. Without stopping being true to who we are.

  • You can be in a relationship, learn to compromise, without losing who you are.
  • You can become a father and prioritize that child, but still keep in touch with an identity that isn’t “just a dad.”
  • You can move toward the career you want without bending to the will of a boss and company you hate.

Getting unstuck means that you always are connected with who you truly are. Maybe we’d be discovering that person, or maybe re-discovering that person. Either way, this is ultimately the goal of all the other reasons.

So…any of these reasons make you want to explore a little more? Check out the main Counseling for Men page or just get in touch with me and we can set up a time for a free consultation to see if support would help you.

Justin Lioi, LCSW is a men’s mental health and relationship expert. He is a Brooklyn therapist (as well as also seeing clients online throughout New York State and internationally.) He received his degree from New York University and has been working with men and their families for over 10 years. Justin is on the Board of the National Association of Social Workers and writes a weekly column for the Good Men Project called Unmasking Masculinity. He can be found on local and national podcasts talking about assertiveness, anger, self-compassion, all with the goal of becoming the man you want to be.