Self-Imposed Boxes That Limit What We Can Do | Justin Lioi, LCSW - Brooklyn, NY

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Do you know what motivates yourself?

Many people feel that their moods dictate how they get things done, but that’s like the artist who says they wait for inspiration to do any work. Well, what happens when it doesn’t come?

Just a quick post today asking you to reflect on what you do when you’re not “feeling it” but still have to “do it”.

Do you

  • Think about an end goal?
  • Have a cup (many cups) of coffee?
  • Meditate?
  • Call in sick and spend the day in bed?
  • Make sure everyone knows how annoyed/unmotivated/pissed you are everywhere you go?

And, as always, I ask: how’s that working for you? Is it the way you want to keep on keeping on?

I find that people define themselves as something very early on and they accept this self-imposed label of

And that’s the ball game. That’s the whole thing. That’s who “I” am.

Now I’m all for knowing yourself, but so often I find people who use an understanding of their comfort level to limit themselves. And that’s fine if it’s, you know, working for you.

But where did you get the message that you were the above and are you able to have the life you want with that or does it keep getting in the way of you doing what you want to do?

Other people put us in boxes quite enough, but sometimes it seems we do it to ourselves.


Justin Lioi, LCSW is a men’s mental health and relationship expert. He practices counseling in Brooklyn, NY (and online throughout New York State and internationally.) He received his degree from New York University and has been working with men and their families for over 10 years. Justin is on the Board of the National Association of Social Workers and writes a weekly column for the Good Men Project called Unmasking Masculinity. He can be found on local and national podcasts talking about assertiveness, anger, self-compassion, all with the goal of becoming the man you want to be.